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Wednesday, 22 February 2017

This Is What I Have Learnt: It hurts To Have Someone Sidestep you.


After writing the header for today's post, I actually said to myself, before nko. By before nko, I mean that it is obvious that betrayal produces negative emotion. My American friends would have said, duh. 

Betrayal hurts.
What do you do when someone you trust betrays your trust? How do you move on with your own life?

I hope I get the right answers to these questions.

However, my experience so far as taught me that:

1. Betrayal is better now, than later.
2. There are also good people in the world.
3. When people show you who they are, believe them, the first time. That's a quote by Maya Angelou.

4. Forgiveness is important to your moving on . After you forgive, find the courage to block them on Facebook and Instagram.

5. Nobody deserves to be ill-treated. It is not fair. But, I like the bible verse, that says, do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

 At the beginning of the year, It was part of my declaration to attract loving people into my life. I guess that if the bad ones are still hanging around, the good ones would have no place to sit.







Monday, 20 February 2017

This Is What I Have Learnt: You Have To Find Strength

This past weekend, I missed a deadline on an important assignment. I just could not find the time to deal with the project because of work. I have to be up at 5:30 in the morning to workout before going to work and I don't return home until 9 at night (after spending 2 hours in commute).

So I just thought that my counterparts who I guess have to deal with the same things I deal with, would equally struggle with getting the assignment done. However, It was a surprise to me that virtually everyone else had completed the task. Many of them had even gone above and beyond with the work.

So I said to myself, there and then, " I have to find the strength to do these things".  And so I have made a decision that no matter how tired I feel, I will try to get work done because I know that there is some reward for going the extra mile.

And trust me, this idea does not have to relate to some high flying task. It is really about doing the right thing at the right time.

Nobody loves to work when they are tired. I know I don't. But find the strength to go one more mile.

You will reap the benefits. You know you will. 

Sunday, 8 January 2017

Always Align Your Thoughts Back To Positive.

I am not sure what I had was depression because I have come across people with clinical depression and I know I did not have that.


However I would experience episodes of sadness and I would spend time trying to figure out how to get out of the mood I was in.

Sunday, 1 January 2017

Do You Want To Be Right or Do You Want Peace?

 The very first time I heard this saying, “do you want to be right or do you want peace?” What I thought that saying meant was that, do you want peace in your relationships with people?  But I now see that the saying really means more than that. “The peace” is actually for you; not for the relationship.

Wednesday, 30 November 2016

Turning All Her Negatives to Positives. Titi Ladette Talks to Naijalearner About Not Giving Up On Life

You remember Titi Ladette; the woman with such a powerful story that touched me so much. If you have not read her story, see it here

Trina Cleveland (her real name) has been through some serious stuff in her life.  Sexual molestation, drug abuse, prostitution, prison, failed relationships, mental illness, an auto accident. Wow! Just one person.


What I like mostly about her , is the fact that she has decided to open up her life to the world. Nobody wants to be defined or identified by words like mental illness or prostitution. But I am glad there's someone who is strong enough to, in Oprah's words, "lift the veil of pretence".

I have been following her story closely, and I found myself constantly asking, "why did she stay alive?".

We have read stories about people who committed suicide for reasons far less severe (some of them even petty). So, I needed to understand how a person could go through so much pain and not give in.

Titi ladette's response to my questions, after the cut

Sunday, 30 October 2016

When Counselling A Person, The Most Important Question to Ask Is This!

What do you want in life? This I believe is the most important question to ask when you are playing counsellor to someone in personal trouble. or when you are counselling a patient who is  managing a health condition but whose lifestyle is making their illness worse.