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Wednesday, 12 October 2016

4 Ways to Overcome Mistreatment

It is impossible to avoid mistreatment or insult if you interact with other people. I hear people say, "but I am not like that, why then should other people disrespect me?".

The truth is, we are all different and in as much as I would not like to codify people into "good and "bad", there are people who can and will hurt you, for whatever reasons.

So, here's how you deal with people and their unfair treatment.

1. Know that your life is bigger than that person or that moment.

This is actually my biggest wielding force against negativity and mistreatment.  I always say to myself, my life is bigger than this. And this statement has become my belief.

Trust me, whether it is your boss being unkind or a client, those people are temporary in your life. Just sit in and remain focused.

If you believe that your life is bigger than those people, you will eventually be taken to a higher place where you will no longer have to contend with them.

2. Know that bad experiences do not define you.

When I got disrespected by people (especially by clients while working), I thought it was because I was not street smart enough or sharp enough. I felt like I needed to come up with a reason for their attitude.

However, I have come to learn that bad experiences do not define you. You do not need to adjust
your value system because someone hurt you.

3. It is not your fault; you cannot take responsibility for the bad deeds of others.

You cannot take responsibility for others. Every time I think back to some terrible people I have met, I say to myself, "whatever you do to others, is already done to you"

You can only take responsibility for yourself. See my next point.

4. You should take responsibility for managing the way others treat you.

Of course you should take some responsibility. A friend of mine and I got into an argument over a favour he had rendered. And I said to him, "this would be the last time, I would ever put myself in a position where you would have the opportunity to disrespect me". And I  have tried to stick to my words.

I have shared this quote by Maya Angelou a thousand times; "when people show you who they are, believe them- the first time"

And I think this quote spells out exactly what I am trying to say. You decide how people address you.
If You do not like a client's attitude, you avoid them. If you cannot avoid them, remember they are temporary.

On my last job, I had a client who was something of a bully. And I had no choice but to tolerate him. Well, now that I have a new job, I know he has no power over me anymore. And I love the fact that he attends my church and I get to see him a lot.

So, I hope that you can stay above mistreatment.

Here's a quote from the movie, The Colour Purple, whose lead character, had her own fair share of ill treatment.
She tells the perpetrator, "Everything you done to me, already done to you"

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